6 Months

The Checkup

Faithful readers who have followed my prodigious weight gain and towering demeanor have been waiting for this update, I am sure. Today, I went to my doctor where -- after charming me with her smiles and baby talk -- proceeded to stick me with needles all in my legs again. I was so surprised and felt hoodwinked. I have got to remind myself not to fall for her shenanigans next time. Anyway, it didn't hurt that much. I'm tough, you know. I just suffer from little to no short term memory. Next time, I will remember not to fall for her smiles.

So, anyway, the market is closed and the numbers are in:

19 pounds, 9 ounces
30 inches long .........
Big Ezzie!

Indeed, as of August 24, 2007 , I am in the 9oth percentile for weight and I am off the chart in my length.

Dad

On a more sober note, today is my last day home full-time with Dad who has to go back to work on Monday. I think he is feeling a little down. I am doing my best to try and cheer him up mostly by throwing up on him. Through that gesture, I hope that my Dad knows how much I love him and I how I would give up everything for his love, even my lunch. Very metaphorical, I know, but metaphors are all you've got when you lack audio language.

I guess I'm a pretty lucky kid. Three months of Mom, Three months of Dad and now back to (mostly) Mom. I love my Mom and Dad. They are like, seriously, the best. Especially how they always keep on their "happy" faces when changing me and my feces. Its true that although us little guys can't talk, I can hear. I hear Mom reminding Dad "Don't look disgusted, keep a smile on your face." Then Mom would continue, "I'm getting out of here, though, that stanks!!" I coo and pretend not to notice but I am taking notes, in my head. I know that for them to keep their smiles on in light of everything that I've put them through is quite a feat. I know that they drop everything when I need them. They feed me (a lot) and read me lots of books. They bathe me and put on moisturizing cream (I'm a sucker for Kiehl's). I may be 6 months but I am no idiot. They love me.

I'm going to miss Dad during the days too. He's funny. We dance around the apartment. We sing to CDs. We give each other Schnarfels on bellies and cheeks. I grab his hair and his nose. I drool all over him, I love that one. He has no idea that I'm doing it on purpose. My Dad is not so good on picking up on subtleties or even obvious things like, the other day, I accidentally started talking before I realized that I wasn't supposed to let Big People know that I could talk yet. I was sleeping during that day in the womb during class, Big People 101: Intro to Their Ways and Manners. He stuck a dog in front of my face and said "Woof!" so I said "Woof!" then I was like, shit, I wasn't supposed to do that yet. Let me check my timetable - I've got a few more months before making noises like that. Anyhow, like I said, its a good thing that my Dad is so dense.

Now with Mom watching me, I will have to be more careful, more studious. I will have to be mindful of these little slip-ups because, being smarter and more observant than my Dad, she will probably catch me. I am sure that being with Milk-Truck, er, I mean Mom, is going to be awesome too. She also sings to me and reads A LOT to me. She makes all these funny voices for the protagonist and all the different characters and the animals. She also does this great Shel Silverstein one with an crocodile and a dentist. We are going to paint this town Red, as long as I do it before my 7 p.m. bedtime.